Widow's Future

A woman visits a fortuneteller who tells her, "Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, the woman takes a few deep breaths, steadies her voice and asks, "Will I be acquitted?"

Late Night Call

An attorney telephoned the governor house after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.

"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.

"Governor sir," said the attorney, "Judge Smith just died and I want to take his place."

The governor replied, "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker."

Poor Adam

Eve: Adam, do you love me?
Adam: Who else?